I’ve read a lot to accept your body the way it is and stop trying to lose weight. Now I’m actually starting to believe it, rather than trying to adopt non-dieting principles while still secretly hoping I’ll lose weight. I’ve tried for so many years, and I don’t recall the last time before I was about 10 that I was happy with my body. And what’s the point? I look back on photos from primary school and high school and I was a healthy looking size, I could fit into lots of nice clothes. You never appreciate what you have while you have it. And now my boyfriend loves my body exactly the way it is, and tells me I’m beautiful, but still I always wish I could lose weight and fit into a bikini. I ask again, what’s the point? It doesn’t seem to change anything, the wanting to lose weight. It just makes me unhappy when I don’t. So maybe I should stop trying to lose weight. Instead I will go out and buy clothes that fit me and look good on me now, even if it involves a tortuous day in the shops. I’ll look online too! And then I will spend time doing things that make me feel and look good like putting on sunscreen and moisturiser every day and taking the time to do my hair. I just did it! I bought a dress and a top from citychic online! Cost 160 bucks so I hope they fit.
Wow. Giving up trying to lose weight is a big relief. I’m going to make the most of what I’ve got with beautiful clothes. That’s not to say that I don’t think health is important. Because I do. I want to be able to be fit so that my boyfriend and I can go on treks and bush walks together in Australia and Machu Pichu and New Zealand. Or even just so that I can too. So I will keep going to fun classes at the gym like zumba, dancing and body pump, and go on long walks with Inky to increase my endurance for future holidays. And I want to eat more fruit and vegetables so that I get enough vitamins and minerals. All that is important for ensuring health later in life but also so I have enough energy now.
I think being healthy isn’t just the being active and eating a variety of foods, it’s also reducing stress levels and getting an adequate amount of sleep. So I will try to do that through the above methods as well.
Ah, what a relief. Fudge all those magazines with their empty promises of losing weight in 4 weeks and bla bla bla. Fuck all the pictures of girls with flat stomachs, whose silhouettes curve in nicely in the middle. They are a microcosm of all the shapes and sizes there are and it’s unfortunate that we are faced with that every day and made to think that that is what is perfect. Well fudge that. I refuse to think that I can’t be perfect just the way I am, even if I have wobbly bits. Even now I have a voice in the back of my mind saying “maybe if I do all this I’ll lose weight anyway”. Well, maybe I will and maybe I won’t. But either way I’ll be a lot fitter and able to do daily tasks more easily as well as things like trekking on holiday. I’ll also look better because I’ll have more energy and glow and be putting effort into what I wear. I like having curves anyway!