Sunday, 4 December 2011

Families are Funny

That was the title of a favourite childhood picture book of mine, and it seemed like a good title to use for this. Because, well, families are funny! At times they are the people you can always rely on and who will love you no matter what (hopefully). At other times you're fighting like crazy. At other times...well, they can just be really unhelpful and annoying.

I used to have trouble over my mum constantly commenting on what I ate and how much I exercised, always talking about diets etc. It really brought me down and I hated it - instead of helping me (which was apparently what she was trying to do) it just made me feel worse and made me want to rebel. I eventually told her to stop and thankfully she has for the most part. But now my sister has moved back home and it seems she has decided to take over mum's old job...

Today I was making toast for lunch - peanut butter and jam on (separate slices!!) of wholemeal grain bread. It was what I really felt like having at the time and to me that is a perfect mixture of nutrition and intuition - I went with grainy bread, light peanut butter and a little jam isn't going to do anyone any harm. But as I was making it, my sister says to me: "I thought you were trying to be healthy?" in this really judgemental and condescending way. I wanted to slap her! She then proceeded to tell me how she thinks I eat too many eggs. Well for starters, how the hell would she know, and secondly, I don't! I shouldn't even have to justify myself but I feel like I have to. She also told me that I should eat cranberries because they are good for me, after I said I don't like cranberries.

What does she want - for me to only ever eat carrot sticks and lettuce? I could never do that, not only because it would be boring but also because it would not be maintainable so what is the point?

I guess she doesn't understand because she hasn't read "If not dieting...". I know I shouldn't get frustrated because I am doing this for me and not for anyone else and she doesn't know what she's talking about. But it can be hard when you're living somewhere surrounded by that negative criticism, and you have to keep reminding yourself that you know what you are doing and you can make your own smart decisions. I'm not going to let it derail me.

In other news, last night my boyfriend and I went for a huge long walk, for an hour and a half! I didn't intend to go that long but he suggested we go to the shops two suburbs away down the main road and I just thought, why not? Walking is very enjoyable in the night air. When we got there he went in and got us both a drink at the servo and I waited outside, and when he came out he had bought us both a treat - a curly wurly for me because he knows I love them:) I ate a bit of it but I didn't feel like it at the time so I told him I would save it for the next day and I did. Being able to do that just feels like freedom, freedom from compulsive eating (which is a title of a book by the way, I have not read it though). Those moments will keep adding up I hope.