Today I walked past
a display of chocolate mud cakes in woolworths and I thought to myself how much
I would love to just buy one and buy some other carb-y snacks while I'm at it
and just go home and have a nice leisurely day of eating them. See, those are
the kind of thoughts that go through a binge-eaters head. I didn't think of
enjoying one slice of cake, because I knew that wouldn't be enough for me, I
thought about having a good old binge. And how I missed that. Isn't that sad?
In reality, whenever I used to do something like that I would wind up feeling
sick and depressed, vow to start afresh the next day, then ended up bingeing
again later. It was this cycle that made me stack on all the weight.
Thinking that
initial thought today actually was a wake up call. Much as I love the taste of
sweets and carbs, I just DON'T want to be in the cycle of ALWAYS thinking about
damn food and when is my next opportunity to get some, and always guilt guilt
guilt and sneaking food. The fact is, I can't really be sensible around sweets
and starches. I can't stop at one. And that brings me back to WHY I need to
cure myself of my sugar addiction.
I look forward to
the day when I can eat fruit and eat a sweet thing here and there without then
feeling like I need to eat anything else sweet I can get my hands on. When my
sensitivity to sweetness is heightened so that one dessert or one fruit is supremely
rich for me.
I'll get there.
No comments:
Post a Comment