Most days I am glad to say that following this lifestyle is
easy and I’m so grateful that I have found a way to help myself that doesn't
involve drugs or therapy. Most days I appreciate all the amazing food I can
cook and eat and how it makes me feel so well and healthy.
BUT…some days, the fact that I can’t just eat a double-coated
Tim Tam whenever I want really gets me down. It can be a number of different
things that sets it off – seeing an advertisement, smelling the fresh, warm cookies
being baked at Mrs Field’s, even just the scent of vanilla can do it. Or the
fact that I’m having a shitty, blah day. I remind myself that eating that Tim
Tam will not only lead to eating the whole pack and starting a cascading binge,
it will also give me heartburn and bloating and who knows what other digestive
upsets – not to mention affecting my thyroid. So that’s why I don’t eat the Tim
Tam. But SOMEDAYS – you know those days right? Everything just feels pointless
and meaningless and too hard and I hate the fact that I can’t just be normal.
Thankfully, those days are usually few and far between and I’m
so glad that most of the time anymore I don’t suffer the symptoms of binge
eating disorder. But those bad days come along sometimes and the most important
thing is that we acknowledge that they are happening, and that it is just a
phase and will hopefully only last for a day or so. So if we can get through them,
without bingeing, there is even more chance that we will feel better soon. Then
again, even if I do end up caving and binge eating, I am a lot more equipped
these days to get myself back up on my feet sooner and to deal with what is
happening. It’s not the end of the world, anyway. The important thing is that
we never give up and we just keep trying.
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