It's been a few days since I posted, mainly because I was going through an off focus period. I've discovered somewhat of a pattern with myself. I go for two or three weeks doing quite well, eating with awareness, staying active, feeling very positive and energetic. Then something, such as a low mood or something disappointing happening, will cause me to fall off the wagon, so to speak. That usually lasts four or five days until something triggers me to realise again what my values are and get me back in the right frame of mind. So I guess for me it's a bit of a "two steps forward, one step back" thing...but that is still moving forward one step at a time! I was given this quote by my friend Janelle:
"No one completely eliminates all their 'unhelpful habits'. The reality is most of us will repeat them again and again, as we travel along the path of self-improvement. Whilst there are countless articles and books where the authors claim that it takes, 21 or 28 or 35 or 42 days to establish new habits there is no scientific data to back these figures. They may sound good, but it is doubtful if they have any validity. So when setting out to replace unhelpful habits with more helpful ones, let's be realistic and acknowledge we are fallible human beings - and particularly when under stress, we are more likely to fall back into our old patterns of behaviour. And when that happens, there's no point in beating yourselves up (If beating up was a good way to get rid of 'bad habits' we should all be perfect, human beings by now shouldn't we? At those times when we relapse, we need to accept our disappointment, show ourselves some compassion, reconnect with our values and start again (and again and again and again.)" Russ Harris 2008
I have found this quote really helpful and I especially like the line "particularly when under stress, we are more likely to fall back into our old patterns of behaviour". When I thought about this, it really made sense because if we are stressed about something we focus more of our energy on that and have less time for our other things. I guess our brains just follow the path of least resistance and go back to the old habits because we don't have time to think about it.
I mean, despite the fact that you would think that "not dieting" is easy (and it is at times, it seems so simple and right), it is still hard because the reasons we eat when we aren't hungry are many and varied, and tied to emotional and psychological issues which I guess we have to force ourselves to face.
So I am not going to bother beating myself up because clearly it doesn't help. The only thing I disagree with from the quote is the idea of "starting again and again and again". Actually, I think we are just on a constant journey and when bad things happen we are just overcoming an obstacle in the path. To me the thought of starting over and over is tiresome and depressing so I prefer to think that, I don't know, maybe I veered off the beaten path and took a scenic detour, and now I'm back on the main path again - and further ahead than I was before!
Hi Genevieve,
ReplyDeleteI think it's very perceptive of you to pick up your pattern.
Also, I agree with your comment about starting again, and again. In fact, I think you phrased it so well, I reckon you should write it to Dr. Rick
as he might put it in his new book.
I'm like you in that I think I'm on a constant journey with some detours along the way. And yes, beating myself up for taking one of the detours doesn't get me back on track, it just leads to further detours or going around in circles.
One of the things I'm trying to learn is to be able to apply the non-dieting concepts during times of emotional upheavel. I'm great when the goings good, but the challenge for me is to be able to continue with self-nurturing (other than reaching for food) when the going gets rough. That's really when I need to be able to apply it the most to help break the habits.
But, to be able to apply self-nurturing in hard times is easier when it's been practised consistently during the good times leading to new habits. At least that's what I think.
Any comments? Cheers, Janelle
Thanks Janelle, I was thinking of sending in my "story" to Dr Rick so maybe I will try to do that soon! What is his new book about?
ReplyDeleteI'm like you in that I most need to learn to apply non-dieting concepts during emotionally difficult times. I'm ever so slowly getting there - for example I managed to get up early one morning last week to go for a walk during an off focus period.
I agree, we just need to keep practising good habits consistently and building up more and more until it's a lot easier to stay focussed when times are tough.
Hello Genevieve,
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your question I'm not sure what his new book is about really but I know he's writing one. I wrote down something that I showed him on one of my visits that he said he could use so that's why I thought maybe what you wrote he could use as well.
Good on you for getting up and going for a walk
during an off focus time. That's the kind of self-nurturing that I'm trying to apply as well.
And, each time we do something like that it's a small change in a positive direction for us.
I think it would be great to see your story on
Dr. Rick's website. Cheers, Janelle